4 Months

Dear Addison,

Oh, my sweet little Boo Bear, this past month has been delightful!  For the record, I’d like to state that I’ve mourned your aging since day one. Every day I think, “She’ll never be this small again” and wish I could stop time somehow so you wouldn’t grow up. You’re so different from the tiny baby with the wobbly head and sweet little smush face that we brought home, and it makes me sad to know that I’ll never have that baby again. Plus, I just don’t like change as a general rule, and this extends to my sweet baby girl. But this month, your changes have been so much fun that I’ve hardly mourned the old, tiny-newborn version of you at all. (Well, at least not every day.)

My favorite change this month for sure is how much you smile. The morning is your best time (I don’t know what that’s about) and you will just smother your Daddy and me in precious baby smiles and the occasional baby laugh (which is more of a delighted gasp at this point, but it’s sooooooo cute!) You smile in your sleep sometimes, too, which is precious. You’re pretty much a happy little baby, except when you’re sleepy and when you want to be held, two things which usually coincide. We’re still sleeping together at night, but I know it’s going to have to come to an end soon. Your Daddy and I have discussed that we don’t want to be the couple with a toddler in the bed. But right now it’s really, really hard to just sit and listen to you cry, which is what happens when we try to get you to sleep on your own.

This month you started holding your head up, and I swear to god it happened overnight! One day you were still a little bobble-head, and the next day I was walking through the house with you and I realized, “Holy crap! This kid is holding up her head!” And you are really, really good at it. Plus you’ve gotten really strong ab muscles, so I think it won’t be long before you can sit on your own. Something about you having head control makes you so much more fun. It’s just a lot less stressful now that I don’t have to worry about your head falling off. Not that it would have before, but sometimes you would jerk out of the blue, trying out your muscles, I guess, and your little head would go flailing backwards and it was pretty terrifying. I had to hand you to people with a diclaimer: “This kid will fling her head back and scare the crap out of you, so HANG ON TIGHT!”

This head control and ab control has led to us having to strap you into things now. I sat you in your swing one day and left the room for maybe 3 minutes. When I came back to check on you, you were on your back curled up in a ball in the seat of the swing. one good wiggle away from falling onto the floor. Yikes! So now I always strap you into the swing. I’m going to have to strap you into your car seat when you’re sitting in it in the house, too. Just last night, you were sitting in it while I read a magazine to you (the only way I get to read my magazines these days, and you seem to enjoy the parenting ones because they have pictures of babies), and you wound up bent in half trying to attack your toes. So no more sitting you on the counter in the car seat without having you strapped in, either.

Probably the biggest milestone you’ve hit so far happened last week – YOU ROLLED OVER! I was trying to get you to take a nap in your co-sleeper (hah!), which was of course making you cry. When your cry went from earth-shattering to muffled, I went in to check on you. To my surprise, you were no longer on your back as I had left you, but on your stomach. I figured it was a fluke and the result of your thrashing about in displeasure. That evening, I put you on the floor to play on your mat while I checked online to see when you should actually start rolling over since I wasn’t sure if it was time. When I looked up to check on you, you were on your stomach again! Apparently the time you would actually start rolling over was “now.” I flipped you back over and grabbed the video camera to try to catch your feat in real time, and you obliged, twice in a row, actually. And you rolled over later that same evening for Daddy. You are now a rolling machine! Plus I read that it’s harder to roll from back to stomach than vice versa, so we now have undeniable proof that you are a genius!

Now any time we lay you on your back, you’ll roll over within two or three minutes. This includes when we put you down for an attempt at a solo nap. Thursday, you actually slept for two and a half hours all alone in your co-sleeper. I don’t know if you understand what an achievement that is – that was 10 TIMES LONGER than I’ve ever gotten you to sleep by yourself before. (When you finally understand math, you’ll see how huge that is.) As I write this, you’re taking a nap in your crib, again on your stomach. We haven’t had a 2.5 hour repeat, but honestly, any solo sleeping is a miracle in my eyes at this point.

The next best change this month is how chunky you’ve gotten. You have developed some delicious fat rolls on your thighs. Your auntie actually counted them this weekend she’s so in love with them. (There’s 5, by the way.) You also have elbow dimples, which I like to nibble on. Everyone agrees that your chunkiness is FABULOUS! And I hope you’re enjoying this time in your life because when you get to be my age, “chunky” isn’t a descriptor that one would categorize as “positive”. But when you’re 4 months old and have a pair of dimples on each elbow, you’re pretty much a prime specimen of what every baby should look like.

All of your cuteness and your achievements this month have made it so much easier for me to accept and actually enjoy the fact that you’re growing up. You’re making it easier for me! What I didn’t know would happen before I had you was that with every day you get older, I love you even more. I still don’t understand how it’s possible, but it’s so, so true.




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