What to Expect: Weeks 33 and 34

That’s a honeydew, people! A friggin’ giant melon in my belly! Which means that baby time is closer and closer and I’m just waiting for the total freak out to begin. (I’m currently in about a constant Stage 7 freak out, but I expect it to ramp up to full on Stage 10 as the weeks go by.)

I know it’s been 34 weeks, but deep down, I still really can’t believe I’m having a baby. A real, live, human being that is currently the size of a honeydew melon (and is going to somehow have to exit my body! We can talk more about that later.)

I am pretty sure that it is the great “unknown” that is causing me to get a little crazy right now. I am a planner. It is in my blood. I will draw a plan of how I’m going to come up with a plan. That is no lie. Now, usually I never actually complete the plans (except in the case of my great IKEA adventure last month) but I must make them! And I must believe that they are, in fact, executable and logical and if I wanted to, I could follow those plans down to the letter and everything would work out perfectly and that gives me peace. However, you can’t make a plan for a baby. I don’t know what day she’ll get here, I don’t know how long or painful labor will be, I don’t know what kind of temperament she’ll have, I don’t even know what the weather will be like when we bring her home so I can pick out a cute little outfit because we live in North Florida and GOD FORBID we have seasonal temperatures here! It could be 80 degrees in February or it could be 12. And all of this is making me CRAAAAAZY!!!!!!!!

…and just now, I’m so crazy, that I accidentally published this post before it was ready. I’m taking it as a sign that I should just stop and take a few deep breaths. And maybe go to weatherchannel.com and see what average temperatures are like in Tallahassee for February 5th……

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